Tag Archives: relationships

A post for Kate Winslet’s 40th

Life begins at – and has already been significant for….

Within a week, two of my favourite actresses turn 40. I am choosing to write this on the birthday of the younger of the two, as that is the person I know best and have followed for the longest.

I think I’ve known Kate Winslet for her whole career, and she has been important to me for much of that time. Anyone who’s read this blog before, or even glanced at the tag cloud on the right, will see that Kate is someone who has taken up much screen time – on my computers, on my television sets, of my cinema going. I have seen all her films, often at the cinema and within days of its release; and I own and have rewatched many of them. Click on the cloud to see my analyses of these. It will keep growing.

Yet it is more than reviews and articles that she has inspired in me.

The power of those we don’t know, those that are public and we have an idea of and yet none at all of their real selves, is a theme that drives much of my work. It is true of queens who died centuries before I was born, princesses who died during my lifetime, and superhuman princesses that are invented, but yet feel like real people.

With an actor, there is who they are really, their persona, and the roles they play. There is what they say in the media, and what the media says of them. We glean ideas about them from those roles, those interviews, the analyses of the dresses they wear and the causes they choose. But perhaps like Sarah Douglas said of her role as the black shiny clad Ursa in Superman, the slits in the costume that seem to show the bare skin of the wearer are highly calculated false portals. “You think you see me in places you don’t.”

This theme of revelation of self and of celebrity is pertinent right now. I’ve already said so much about Kate on here, and will continue to view her films (two new ones coming out next month!), but I wanted to speak a little about what she means to me, or rather, what function she has served in my life. It is true of other actors, but her especially.

We don’t need to know our muse, or them to know who we are, and who we think they are doesn’t have to be true. That’s not to say I don’t want to meet Kate – she might be the living famous person I’d most like to – but that a sort of relationship can be created without an exchange, at least, on my side.

I’ve found Kate’s c2000 roles her most powerful and enduring. As a person that I’d like to be with, I’d choose Maddie from Quills, though I’d like to take her far from Charenton, and also Hester from Enigma. I also warmed to Sabine in A Little Chaos.

At this time, I am also doing a Sarah Douglas costume, starting to show some well planned slits as I make my writing known to the world, because I’m launching my book. Although my creation is separate from Kate Winslet, there is something of and someone like her in my novel (which I plan to also make into a film). It is a story about false bottoms of drawers, of consciousness of the layers of ourselves and what we show, and what we keep to ourselves – and how it is easier to explore and reveal ourselves through personas, even publically, than me as me, to those I know well.

It is about the power of an actor’s persona, one which (like Kate’s) often feels very real, very ordinary (and yet not at all ordinary), and a particular role – one that I invented – to be part of our lives; and for stories to have life changing power, not just a couple of hours of entertainment and escape, but to make you face what you couldn’t bear to see.

Thus today, which is not my birthday, is also for me a time of anniversary and celebration – not yet of a life, like Kate’s, which is full of public recognition; mine has thus far been of preparation.

I would like to thank Kate for the inspiration, joy and challenge she has brought to me and so many others who may not know you but whose lives you have certainly touched.

Marion Cotillard will get her own post when I have seen her latest film, Macbeth – hopefully, any day.

http://parallel-spirals.webs.com/

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Kate Winslet 3: patterns in her lovers

Further (and probably final – for now) musings on the 20 year career of Ms Winslet…

 – the short term intensive relationship

Titanic, Labor Day, The Reader, perhaps Finding Neverland; the first two are a matter of days in isolation – one on a voyage, the other, a weekend; the next, a summer

– Her loves set her free

They’re often childlike men and not macho – Jack (Leonardo DiCaprio) in Titanic who spits and runs and has a boyish aspect, though an inner maturity and sortedness; James M Barrie (Johnny Depp) in Finding Neverland who dresses as a Red Indian and wears spoons on his nose at dinner – truly his Peter Pan; Bilal in Hideous Kinky does handstands and magic tricks and has little sense of real responsibility or adult relating; Miles in The Holiday; Brad in Little Children wants to skateboard and play ball, and isn’t comfortable in his relationships or responsibilties. In The Reader, her lover’s a teenager half her age. In Iris, John Bayley’s perhaps a little bumbling and eccentric and less experienced in relationships; Iris looks after him in a childlike way until her illness; in Enigma, Tom’s a genius in meltdown. Monty in Mildred Pierce is less boyish physically, but he’s a playboy in both senses; he leads her out sexually, but he and worldly wise Wally contribute to Mildred’s downward arc. I am not sure Monty can be said to contribute to Mildred’s rise in confidence or business success – rather, he reaps its rewards.

Note how often chasing, fights, games come into the halcyon days with her loves – Jude, Iris, Eternal…, Titanic.

Jack, Bilal and James bring her character out; Kate’s character brings out John and Michael; in Eternal…, Clem embodies what’s in Joel’s head.

The only macho man so far in Kate’s career is in Labor Day, where Frank’s the controlling one, although he does a traditional women’s thing – he bakes and feeds the family, but then ties up Adele and plays baseball, the right of passage to manhood also in A Kid in King Arthur’s Court, and in Little Children. I would say that another Frank in Revolutionary Road is controlling – but then, his behaviour leads to demise. Note that Leo’s role here is a reverse of his Titanic one.

Ruth disarms PJ of his machismo in Holy Smoke.

Men who give her power and encouragement lead her forward – Jack lets Rose come onto him and take the lead, and he contrasts with her controlling Mum and fiancé by giving Rose the tools for a life of freedom and fulfilment away from stricture.

By working together as equals, and Hester and Tom solve the Enigma.

Kate’s played a woman interested in other women (even subtly, tangentially) 4 times:

Heavenly Creatures is all about a female friendship that’s arguably love (though it’s too complicated to simply call lesbian); in Holy Smoke she dances with another women and kisses her sensuously; Iris is bisexual, and so’s Hester in Enigma, whose drive towards solving a mystery with Tom is because both have feelings for Claire (in the book it’s more obvious). And then, there’s Veda in Mildred Pierce, a hard to place mother daughter relationship where Mildred has physical thrills around her daughter and kisses her on the lips, and fights like a spurned lover. In the novel of Little Children, Sarah had a relationship with a woman before she met her husband.

Her loves are her undoing

Like Shakespeare plays, Kate’s onscreen loves come mostly in two categories, often not overlapping:

Those drive her mad or to near death; and those who give her new life (tradegy/comedy)

The former are in Heavenly Creatures, Hamlet, Jude, Quills, Revolutionary Road, Mildred Pierce

Marianne’s first love in Sense and Sensibility is her undoing (the charismatic, handsome, playful libertine Willoughby), but the second, older love (Colonel Brandon) is reliable and moral.

– Escape through imagination, travel, learning

This is recurrent and the most empowering: even if it goes wrong, it’s due to forces or society.

In Heavenly Creatures, Pauline and Juliette create worlds, but are severed through paranoid families and schools and a legal system

Jude‘s advanced through learning and geographically moving, but classism and judgement about marriage creates poverty leading to tragedy and parting

Travel and the search for the spiritual (which involves some imagination and reading) empower Julia of Hideous Kinky and Ruth of Holy Smoke.

The desire to travel – and not getting it – thwarts April in Revolutionary Road; and its lack is behind the problems of Maddie in Quills and Adele in Labor Day; but it opens up possibilities for Rose in Titanic, Iris in The Holiday

Reading is the solace of Maddie in Quills, whose goodness in life comes from vicariously not being good on the page, and of Hannah in The Reader. Iris Murdoch’s whole existence is around words and worlds – academically and in fiction.

Isolation in body and spirit causes demise; keeping on metaphorical corsets means loss of mind and self, and ultimately, life.

It’s meant to be a warning to do differently, I think, rather than suggesting that bohemianism is destructive, so stay conventional: I think those stories say the reverse.

Breaking out of that gives the autonomous women Kate regularly chooses a better life, a life to the full, and is one of the reasons I enjoy watching her and following her career.

Next season will be Juliette Binoche to go with her new film, A Thousand Times Good Night

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Take This Waltz movie

This may be the only time of my life that I agree with the Guardian film reviewer, Peter Bradshaw. I will go even further and say that his review is far better written than by Philip French, in sister paper the Observer. I realise I have now raised my own stakes.

I was so taken by director Sarah Polley’s maturity in her debut, Away from Her. A young woman was able to craft a film (admittedly not her own story, but adapted from a book) about people twice her age on how creeping memory loss means a marriage longer than Polly’s lifetime is severed as Julie Christie’s character goes into a retirement home.

Unsure about the Picturehouse synopsis but encouraged by a friend and Polley’s previous work, I caught Take This Waltz in its frustratingly short run at our local cinema.

The maturity has gone. Not only are the subjects younger but Michelle William’s quiveringly raw acting once again lost me in the early scenes. I found her relationship with both men incredibly immature – rolling around, worse than puppies and teenagers. Many of the horrible things said in the name of affection between Margot and Lou were disturbing (eg the rape comments). Equally silly was Daniel, who she lusts for but cannot hold a conversation with, and with whom she bonds by blowing something dangling in the back of a taxi. Whether the long sequence with him was actual or fantasy, I struggled to see how they could have a realistic life together, as beyond the sex, there was little connection.

I agree that this film is unsexy and the supposedly erotic verbal description of what Daniel would do to Margot sounded as well crafted and enticing as pubescent toilet graffiti. He began well and then seemed to run out of description – but erotic talk is a craft; simply saying how much you’re going to fuck them is pretty lame.

As was the premise and much of the film. I hated the opening scene where Margot visits a historic fort and is asked to whip an actor in the name of public punishment, all being cheered on and photographed by tourists. I was never quite sure what it was meant to say. That bloodlust still runs high enough to feature as a highlight of a modern tour disturbed me. How Daniel’s egging her on related to their characters and relationships, I was unsure. That he sat with her on the plane home was one unlikely coincidence; that he lived opposite was one too far.

When Margot bursts into tears on her husband after another rebuffed seduction attempt and he says ‘what the fuck?!’, he reiterated my thoughts about the entire movie. Margot seems to have incredibly bad timing – her chef husband is cooking the main meal of the day. No wonder he wasn’t responsive.

The alcoholic sister in law was an unnecessary subplot, the only thing that gave was someone the chance to say how badly Margot has behaved by taking off. Geraldine’s brief disappearance was not sufficient crisis to bring Margot back to the family.

The swimming scene showing Daniel and Margot in synchrony was a beautiful cinematic idea but was based in nothing we saw with the couple, and so was an empty piece of choreography. We needed scenes to show they actually were attuned.

As for the them of being afraid of the inbetween – we never actually saw one. Margot is not in between relationships . Her marriage need not have died; she lacked the maturity to have any way of sorting its problems. I was surprised that such a childish coupling had been cemented in marriage.

Wisely I think the film is trying to say that actually Margot has yet to learn that passion and desire are not enough alone. It seems that her missing connections is more than about airports, but about people – but it failed to make one with me.

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Erotic Justice

This is the name of a book by Marvin M Ellison, an American academic theologian.

(I resisted the pun I could make about the title of my other blog on banking.)

I’ve taken this article down for now as I want to give the subject – kink/BDSM – some more thought before saying my public views. My initial reaction was confusion as to how eroticising acts of humiliation, subjugation and pain could be healthy and loving. I neither want to be judgemental or prudish, or to hurt those I may meet who are part of this world by seeming to reject and condemn them or at least, a part of them. But I also want to stand up for what I think too, and for principles I believe are important.

It’s a hard balance to strike, and I am not sure I have got it right yet.

(See the next post on Whistleblower for a related topic).

You might also like http://socyberty.com/crime/age-of-consent-and-descent-into-craziness/

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