Category Archives: spirituality

Greenbelt and me and that book of mine

Today is the official start of a festival known very much to a those of a certain Christian ilk. It’s been running over 40 years around various parts of England, sometimes in the grounds of stately homes, sometimes on a racecourse.

In the words of something very close to me

“Greenbelt was devoid of the very things that put me off all other forms of Christian holiday. It had a firm focus on music and the experimental, was theologically liberal to the point of sometimes being shocking, and therefore attracted interesting people.”

Born at a similar time to the festival – which also began in the same county – I went to my first Greenbelt in 1990, in Northants, just as I was becoming old enough to be autonomous. It was a rebellious thing to do for someone of my background. My Dad’s response to my wish to go was “pass the vinegar”!

I came back shocked and recall writing to the festival’s chair and receiving a generic reply, including things that I hadn’t. Clearly many others had been unhappy too.

I can’t remember much about why – just that Greenbelt didn’t match my idea of Christianity. One reason that was its focus on social justice, not gospel spreading, and its toleration of issues like homosexuality. Ironies coming up.

Curiously one thing I do recall complaining about (for his a book called “Cleaning the Bog and other spiritual gifts”) was a writer I embraced later on. I was reading the late Mike Yaconelli’s book “Dangerous Wonder” just last night. His talks involved the biggest queues of the festival, yet he was moved every year, and surprised, fearing that next year, they wouldn’t come. Perhaps I find his book a little juvenile now, with its stories of waterbombing and other pranks, but I love his spirit – real, passionate living, and a God who is much more into loving us than berating us and getting it right.

It took me 6 years to try Greenbelt again – now a postgraduate, a little broader of mind and less easily shocked. This time I had a little epiphany – one I couldn’t share with my housemate and I felt that her and her church – who’d tutted at me for going to GB – weren’t right, and I made some large and sudden lifestyle decisions because of that.

As a composing musician, the music at Greenbelt was important; a highlight was seeing Iona at the only full band gig of theirs I ever attended. But the book tent, people, the ideas and new ways to worship were also of interest.

I went back the next year, but felt that the mud and the lank hair and skank feeling of no proper washing outdid the things I enjoyed. I vowed I would not camp again.

Then Greenbelt moved – further from me, but into new student halls of residences for the over 25s – happily an age I’d recently passed – and onto the tarmac of Cheltenham racecourse. I enjoyed discovering Cheltenham – my first spa town – and having a town close enough to take a break from the long weekend of festivalling, which can get quite intense and insular. Spiritually, it still felt appealed.  At last, Greenbelt and I were a best fit, although it was smaller and less atmospheric than its Northants days.

Now that Safe Space for LGB Christians felt different.

I’m not really sure why I didn’t return for a while, but in 2007, I was living close enough to attend Greenbelt for a day. I started calling my spirituality Glastonbury rather than Canterbury. I was going to an offshoot of the latter communion who didn’t approve of the former. I was no longer in the Christian music loop – and by that I mean, contemporary bands – and found most solace in a tent of contemplation, and a spiritual advisor. I listened to Yaconelli’s son and felt that whilst the voice was recognisable, finding the ghost of the father through him wasn’t going to happen. Nor did Mike’s own books work so well for me now.

I now cared very about social justice and I embraced the inclusion that Greenbelt showed, but it strangely felt that it, not I, was more conservative. It had taken steps back to towards it more evangelical roots while I’d pole vaulted from mine. We had passed each other like comets, riding together for a time, and veering into disparate directions.

I wasn’t sorry to leave and to explore Cheltenham. I felt that I’d be unlikely to go gain – especially as Greenbelt left that site and reverted to camping.

So why is Greenbelt something I’m writing about now, except that it’s now happening?

Because those Cheltenham visits inspired scenes in my new novel, all about that Safe Space, those seminars where evangelical and liberal meet, where social justice and faith come together. It’s the final chapter.

I think it may be for me and Greenbelt. I approached them to share the novel – naturally – as I’d not only given them a few thousand words of space in it at the most crucial point, but its being all about the kind of things its attendees care about, such as modern church life and those that are a bit different.

But I found that the social justice they preach wasn’t being practised. The book tent has a contract to exclusively sell books on the site and it wants 50% of the cover price to sell yours – though it excludes self published ones when they’ve little space. I pointed out that most books don’t have that cut to spare and causes the author and publisher – which are both me – who has spend perhaps years at their own expense, to make a loss. I was asked to send, at my expense, a free copy to the team for a possible social media mention. A 40 year old festival commanding £150 a ticket for tens of thousands, asking a new self published author who’s been in financial struggle to send a book for them to consider a tweet? And that they were too busy to talk more.

Hence I’m not at Boughton House near Kettering this weekend and may not be again.

But I do hope some festivallers – past and present – might enjoy relieving those Cheltenham years and joining in my fictional weekend at the pivotal point of other Elspeth’s journey.

You don’t know what I mean, and you’d like to?

Then go to

More about the fairness of publishing will be appearing on this site.










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Hail, Caesar – he is Risen


This week I saw two new films, each featuring a Fiennes brother, about a Roman tribune (senior soldier) who encounters Jesus at the end of his life.


I bet I’m one of few to have seen both, because Risen, starring Joseph Fiennes, hardly got any theatrical release. In my city, only one cinema had it, for one week, twice a day at awkward times, pulling it before the Easter weekend it is all about. Thus its low audience numbers were self fulfilled. And it’s gone before, like the disciples at the tomb, I could go and tell anyone else to come and see it.


I am also one of the few drawing a comparison between these films, because the subtitle of the film within film, Hail Caesar, is not mentioned in any cinema brochure I’ve read. Along with other inaccuracies, it is called “a sword and sandal” epic. But there’s no sword fights and no George Clooney is not Caesar, but encountering a more paradoxical alien leader. There’s a scene where the religious leaders whom the studio is trying to placate discuss the nature of the incarnation (interesting for Jewish film makers), a beautiful closing speech at the foot of the cross (for which scene the crucified actors received “hardship pay”) and confusingly, a section featuring Saul of Tarsus with a title card “Divine Intervention to Be Inserted”.


Risen also consulted with Christians to avoid upsets, and likewise, found them happy – though I was not at the depiction of Mary Magdalene as a prostitute. This is not in the Bible and even Catholics – who pretended she was – have officially un-tarted her now. Hasn’t the writers heard of even the Di Vinci Code and who Mary is believed to be by many? She’s Jesus’ no 2, covered up by Peter ‘I want the Keys just for Me’ and friends.


Both films had powerful and profound moments, but the tones were very different. Hail Caesar was often funny, though I mainly just laughed at the two points I described above; the studio debacles often did little for me. I am not a proponent of the multiple storyline and so I wished we spent more time with Rome and Jerusalem, and less (or none) in aquariums, deserts, drawing rooms and bars filled with sailors who sang about the lack of dames at sea, by by their antics (some dance moves were suggestive of a number just before 70) they were not sorry. Not all the characters really fitted together, and I found were by some rather conspicuous sewing.


Risen had no humour and was for the first part, often brutal, opening as a high budget and adrenaline thriller, just incase you thought this was for church halls. I think it is a film for church halls, though not for families or sensitive people of any age. The usually doe eyed, gentle and sensitive Joseph Fiennes is harsh and interrogative and even murderous. I found it hard to watch him being so unjust and bullying. He is one of a few well known actors in the film, such as Peter Firth from Spooks as Pilate, who is driving Joseph as Tribune Clavius to find Jesus’ missing body because Pilate fears the next tier of the chain – his emperor.


The brutality in the Coen’s film – some of which was verbal threat – was by the main person, a studio producer and fixer of any legal and publicity embarrassments. I hated Eddie Mannix for hitting Baird (that’s Clooney) and silencing his new communist sympathies. Eddie becomes the old kind of tribune and God – telling people what to do, think, and what they can know, judging by narrow standards, being non-negotiable and using perceived virtue to guide those in his care; and of course, money.


Both tribunes alter at the experience of Jesus, yet Joseph’s conversion feels more like a Christian Union mission film. I am trying to work out why. Did I feel the disciples too spacey and squeaky good? Was I angry that they never fought back? Was it the snippets of their sermons on the beach? But – whatever your beliefs – in the story, wouldn’t frightened, crushed followers feel exonerated and empowered and impervious to threat if they thought their leader was truly alive again? And their responses to Clavius do draw him in, perhaps more than more assertive reactions might.


The Coen brothers leave us, as so many Jesus films and plays, with him on the cross – yet for George’s tribune, even then, it is enough to change him. The makers of Risen (and Waterworld) let us see Jesus to the end of his earthly life (I was going to say, off the premises), but the ascension is more of a disappearance into the sunset – ET had a more memorable and convincing take off. They obviously didn’t have the budget to show us what the guards at the tomb saw either – shame as modern film is wonderful for bringing such stories to us visually.


The Coen’s Jesus is a back of a rather strawberry blond head and a pair of feet on a maximum comfort cross. Risen features Cliff Curtis – is this the first Maori Christ? – whose face has have the expected unnerving quality, but his less conventional Messiah looks and Tears For Fears hairstyle also slightly beguile and unsettle. However, he behaved like we like to think of Jesus – in the imaginary last miracle where he truly saw and loved the person he healed.


What was hardest for me was reconciling the kind of Jesus we want to believe in – like this – to the one who actually appears to be in the gospel. I’ve been at a study group where we heard that one writer thinks that Jesus snorts in fury at his healees; a Jesus whose first line in John’s gospel is a snap at would-be followers; a Jesus who is incredibly rude to that Gentile lady seeking healing for her son… Commentators let him off by saying, he must have meant…ah, but really he knew… Is this disciples and early fathers scribbling in, or…


It’s a search I continue. Meanwhile, I found these films as worthwhile as any church service and yet not exclusive of those not seeking a spiritual message this Easter.

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Labyrinth – a spiritual parable

Several cinemas put on impromptu screenings of David Bowie’s films in tribute to his recent death. Having never actually seen the already cult 1980s Labyrinth, I went to a packed cinema to find out what he, those muppets and the young Jennifer Connelly got up to.

And I took along my spiritual specs. Good job, for as a tale in itself, or even entertainment, Labyrinth was not scintillatingly brilliant. But as a fairy tale, a myth with a meaning… a crazy story with some rock songs and a farting bog becomes, like most myths, something much more profound. After all, what are stories for?

Jennifer’s character Sarah can’t even see the entrance to the maze, but it is right in front her. Once inside, she can only see high neverending walls, but something lowly that she’d write off (a hospitable worm) shows her that what she perceives isn’t the only possibility: there are portals everywhere, which she much approach to see. Sarah befriends the unlikely and those who believe they cannot have friends. She learns to trust and be wary, and sometimes, to take a risk with the former. People she’d overlook (her huge but simple furry beast friend, Ludo) have powers she’d not thought of. Friendship with nature means it can be asked to work for you (those rocks becoming stepping stones out of the Bog of Eternal Stench). The worst the Goblin King can do to Sarah, he believes, is to send her back to the start, assuming she’ll give up. But Sarah learns persistence as much as courage. She is not deterred by the stone faces who give out doom warnings – they are programmed to and know they are false. The Goblin King tries to distract her, beguile her, but she smashes though his vision and returns to her quest. She bemoans that she’s made little progress and even feels as if she’s going backwards, but the not very forthcoming soothsayer with a bird on his head speaks truth when he says it only seems that way. The junk people try to fill her up with what she doesn’t need, and send her to her room at home where it’s safe. But she sees her many childish trappings for what they are and prepares to shed them and to share one she got possessive over at the start. She returns to the bleak junk yard to see that she is almost at her destination. She realises that though friends are on hand, she must fight the Goblin King alone. He scared her at the start and tries to off put her by changing perspective, but she literally takes a leap of faith to complete her mission and to make him face her. And then there are the interesting words that Goblin King Jareth speaks to her, saying he gave her what she asked. She wanted her pesky baby brother taken – he did. He did it all for her, Jareth claims. He did give Sarah gifts – for she has had an adventure as good as anything she reads in her many books. She has had the opportunity to forgive a betrayer (the gnome Hobble, who also has a learning curve) to offer and receive friendship, and for that courage and tenacity to develop. And perhaps to feel some protectiveness for the brother she resented. She finds use for the seemingly useless incantation she was learning at the start, and banishes the Goblin King by taking away his power over her. Sarah has learned compassion and become fearless. Has the King played a part to bring her out to her best?

This is not all a spirituality I believe in, but this would dovetail with the prevalent law of attraction thinking. It also involves some thoughts I’ve been having of my own.



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Seeking the Good Germans in Edith Cavell’s story

At the supermarket, I walked round dazed, feeling it sacrilege to walk aisles of tins after what I’d just been to. When asked what sort of day I’d had, I said – I’ve seen a woman tried and shot. Again.

This is part IV of Edith Cavell week.

I went to two other one woman shows, by JAC Intimate Productions and Broad Horizons, both again in Norwich’s Forum. And I’ve been to a talk and book signing “Faith Before the Firing Squad” by Catherine Butcher, as well as another exhibition at the Norfolk County archives, and words and music for Edith at St Peter Mancroft church – all still in Norwich.

I’ve seen the letter Edith’s mum got from Buckingham Palace after that firing squad. I’ve seen her copy of The Imitation of Christ with the prescient record of her own death. I heard she may’ve loved her cousin, to whom that book was inscribed.

Each thing I read or watch gives new information, some contradictory, some filling in a piece like a fat jigsaw. It’s all swirling about. But by the end of the week, much of it’s becoming familiar.

What’s missing still for me is that story; it is series of events more than a narrative.

Today I learned she was a fun loving woman. But Ediths of the stage seem as starched as those nursey sleeves of hers. She’s still not really in a relationship with anyone, although I know she picked up stray dogs and humans – I’m seeing a sort of magnetic compassion in Edith who built a family although she didn’t bear one herself. I felt myself wanting to meet the others in Edith’s story, for she interacts little – even with her own demons, as the premise of the Broad Horizon production promised.

The perspective I want to hear is that of the Germans. They are villains in this piece, but like the George Clooney and Cate Blanchett movie, I want to find Good Germans in this story.

What would have been better than doubling army subscription at home would have been for Edith’s death to change hearts of the German army and secret police. Yes I know what the Kaiser said. I know that a German rep laid a wreath at her London memorial for the first time this year. But what of a German’s change of heart?

What goes on in the heart of a Sgt Pinkoff or Lt Bergan? What kind of man was Pastor Le Seur who took her to the firing range and buried her? In Julie Ann Cooper’s play, Edith resists this German chaplain at first, and then sees it as her last life challenge. There is a good German. But he only got a part in one of the plays I’ve seen – the focus is on the Anglican chaplain he worked so hard to fetch.

I turn to the next war and to a German philosopher. Edith read several of these, as did her father at Heidelberg university. Hannah Arendt wrote in the 1960s that Nazi war criminal Eichmann was not debauched, but bland. His evil came through doing his duty without question. He never stopped to think and see people beyond what he had been told about them from his work and from the government. In Edith’s interrogator Pinkoff’s eyes, he too was following orders and doing his duty; Edith had broken the military code – even she agreed that – and this troublesome woman was rightly being stopped.

I’ve been thinking about how to stop such a machine – the duty, non thinking killing machine. What would I do if a foreign army came to occupy my country, as it has in the past, and as mine is doing now? I know that change of heart is the most powerful force for a literal revolution – turning round. I want to uncover a story of someone who was turned because of Edith and her friends. No I don’t mean they became Allied undercover agents. But that they saw a different way to live. That they couldn’t help but see her as a good human, not the enemy.

That she was a woman doesn’t make her death more shocking, because men’s lives aren’t more expendable or less valuable.

I was angered that it was alleged that as a non mother, Edith’s death was acceptable. Who we have in our lives or what biological functions we’ve exercised does not give meaning or greater importance. Edith was caring for many – two young women, two dogs, her mum, her nurses. and those many, many men – not just those who escaped, but those Germans too, whom she noted stalked into town with weary, damaged feet.

As I continue my search for Good Germans, I state again the perceptive words of a more contemporary one who suffered at a German army in her own country – and the warning exhortation to never stop thinking, never stop seeing people as human, and never to put duty before humanity.

I have decided that I do admire Edith because that’s what she did with her duty. Her soldier saving was an easy extension to her nurses’ philosophy – help and save lives.

The keeper of the Swardeston Collection (Edith’s natal village) called her a Good Samaritan in the Norwich diocese magazine. Yes, but only when she was binding German wounds.

I wasn’t comfortable with the Joan of Arc suggestion. She did not lead her country into battle – though her death was used as a call to do so, I don’t think that was what Edith was about at all. I heard evidence from Catherine Butcher that Edith was passionately patriotic, walking out of the room when the Queen was insulted, so perhaps her famous quote was actually a deathbed revelation for her. But news or no, it was a powerful realisation to share with the world. And I will be wearing a badge with it on poppy day.

There are two versions of Edith’s final speech. I prefer the less used one. Not having hatred and bitterness is a negative statement. She also says she must not have it – not that she doesn’t. It is another duty, an ideal state. The other version recorded by Rev Gahan, the chaplain who met with her on her last evening, is that “…it is not enough to loves one’s own people. One must love all men and hate none.”

Still, she did not speak actively of love and forgiveness; still it is an ideal, not something she is actually doing. But it one that those who hear her words can do.

It is here I want to leave Edith; and whatever I’ve said about allopathic medicine and propaganda, I do not think she intended to be used as a pawn and poster girl for either. She meant to do good, I think. I’d like to think that if she didn’t change any German hearts at the time, that those of that same ilk, of whatever uniform, could be changed now.


My vision for Edith’s old home                                                     

Edith provided a place of confidential safety when people were in need. There are already nursing homes named for her. I’d like the old vicarage or Cavell House in her natal village of Swardeston, Norfolk to be the Cavell house of Compassion and Contemplation; open to the public as a museum, to pray and meet, and also have a separate residential area with a warden – something like The Elsie Briggs House of Prayer in Westbury on Trym, Bristol, crossed with the Bronte parsonage and a safe house – for whatever the needs might be.

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Elspeth on Shelby Spong… again

I couldn’t decide where to place this, so in revealing that I have yet more blogs, I will put a link to my all spiritual one here, and my post about the American ex bishop and my latest brush with him. I am neither liberal in the usual sense nor evangelical in the usual sense. See what I make of him

It is unashamedly a long post, extended essay length, though much looser in style, so be prepared to scroll!

Wrong Colour, Wrong Spong

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The Gospel according to Sylvia Browne

A response to “The Two Marys”

Yes, the author is that Sylvia Browne, the psychic, who is also a Gnostic Christian and church founder. This leads to my first issue. The miracles in the Gospels are a bit far fetched, Sylvia says. Feeding of thousands? More like a few hundred or less. Rising from the dead? No, a faked faint with feeble as possible whippings and beatings and cleverly aimed nails so that the Lord could recover in the tomb and then sneak off to travel and minister and die happily in France with his family at the age of 84.

So – Jesus can’t rise from the dead or do miracles, but Sylvia can see the future and receive messages and pictures from her personal discarnate spirit. We’re asked to accept her beyond the rational gifts, but not those of someone somewhat more established and famous and revered?

The tone of this piece matches the one that Sylvia often writes in. Occasionally, she’ll give interesting, more scholarly insights, such as when and how the cult of the Virgin Mary really gathered speed, with statements that sound like informed research (I am mindful of the word ‘fact’ for philosophical reasons). Then she’ll say: Jesus revealed himself to his French friends by “letting the cat out of the bag”. So much for the Messianic Secret! She makes oft use of the lazy “a lot” and calls many other psychics – who are the same as prophets to her – “nuts”. Worse still, these ‘nutters’ might become occultist, which she abhors – no reason.

Her view is that Jesus was crucified for preaching a loving, forgiving God…. interesting, but not expanded. We don’t get many quotes from the Gnostic gospels that her views depend on – least of all, discussions of their translations and authenticity.

Although badly told, she does rationalise her version of Easter. Everyone was in the trick – there’s no outcast, self murdering Judas; Joseph of Arimathea and of course his beloved Marys all knew. Even Pontius Pilate was malleable with a bribe. She explains this is why Jesus was crucified so close to the Sabbath, when no dead bodies were allowed left hanging so he could be on the cross for minimal time, not have his legs broken, and be snuck off to a powerful man’s tomb ready for revival and escape. The vinegar on a stick was opium to help him bear the pain and lose consciousness. The Noli Me Tangere moment on Easter Morn was – don’t touch, my wounds still hurt. Then Jesus shows his earthly wounds – for what spirit has them, she asks (hasn’t she heard of ghosts appearing with the last known body?). And then Jesus becomes master of disguise, does a bit of globe trotting, including America (how could he miss you out) and then retires to Languedoc as “David”.

For anyone of a non Gnostic Christian bent, Jesus’ faked death is shocking on many levels. Traditional theology is that Jesus’ death is the telos of his mission; Christmas matters because of Easter, and those teachings are mere aperitif to the main course – his passion.

If it’s true that as Lynn Picknett gleefully states in her book on Magdalene, that there have been a spate of dying and rising gods, then Jesus needs to do something extraordinary – and that would mean a bodily resurrection after an actual, bodily death.

To me and many Christians, Jesus’ subversion of death and overcoming it on the cross is essential.

Many Christians see the unthinkable emotional as well as bodily suffering as a sign of Jesus’ love for them – that he wanted to bring us back to God so much that he would endure this for us. Julian of Norwich would not get along with Sylvia Browne!

My understanding of the Cross is different to mainstream Christianity, but this view is spreading: I believe not in atonement and penal substitution, appeasing an angry God’s thirst for blood to pay off an insurmountable debt of sin. The cross is about saying God is nothing to do with this world of violence, punishment, payback and worldly might. I love Hildegard of Bingen’s view of sin (as told by Ilia Delio) being the exile of unrelatedness and the refusal to grow; I wonder if every personal block to God and each other, including what we would consider acts of evil, is covered by that definition. Sin is what stops us from living authentically.

But all Christians can agree that Jesus did something unique and essential for the human/God interface, and that he overcame death – our greatest fear and enemy. Sin in all its forms and definitions has been dealt with – that exile is over, that impediment is removed, and light, not evil now prevails. So a few pokes and a opium-fuelled doze with fictitious angels as alibis for the bribed tomb guards misses the whole point.

If Jesus preached a loving forgiving God, it would be more powerful to demonstrate him.

Sylvia says Jesus needed to get crucified to fulfil his Chart – but she obviously misses off most of the reading, for its not in minimal suffering and a ‘sham resurrection’ (her phrase) that his destiny is fulfilled. How could Jesus say “It is FINISHED” or as I see it “It is accomplished”, or better still – “Consummatum”, all things brought together, if he did not complete his mission? And why would Jesus commend his Spirit to his Father and feel forsaken if he only had a half death? And dissembling is breaking one of the Decalogue.

I struggle to see why Sylvia refers to Jesus as Lord, although I am intrigued to look again at his sayings – the ones she upholds – and see if Jesus is Lord enough through just them.

There’s also something wrong with the family narrative – that of the Marys and Jesus travelling, of Jesus being a husband and dad, of his favouritism for Mary Magdalene over the disciples, and his and both Marys’ royal lineage. No overshadowing from the Most High is needed in this conception, and there’s no assumption into heaven – just retirement to the Essene community with its celestial nickname and a boringly ordinary death of old age.

The childhood friend bride feels uncomfortable from a personal relationships view: so Jesus couldn’t meet someone later in his life, and she had to come from the right sort of background to be suitable. It felt like the sort of fairy tale I’d like to see die out.

Like Shakespeare, Jesus’ appeal comes from his ordinary, non conventionally educated background. I abhor the notion that neither Will of Stratford nor Jesus of Nazareth could possibly be who we think without blue blood and academic training. That says, only the aristocracy are worthy of admiration; only official learning is true knowledge, and worst – that class and feudalism rule: just what I thought God wasn’t about.

Jesus is meant to come from King David’s line but he was born to a carpenter, to people too poor to get favours and posh lodgings but have to sleep and deliver a baby in a stable.

Why would Mary his mother sing the magnificat about the powerful and poor being switched if she was royal and rich herself?

And to cast the harlot’s mantle off Magdalene, we have to give her ermine.

For the Jesus being married part – a thesis now well known due to books soon to be mentioned – Sylvia argues that Jewish men, especially those called Rabbi, were always married. It would controvert the Genesis command to multiply if a man did not have children. But how easy is it to generalise about beliefs and practices? We know people whose relationships break the mould. I love that Jesus does everything topsy turvy and unexpected. We value money and property – he doesn’t appear to have any. He lives in a commune and travels – we value rootedness and stability. We don’t read of his ordination in the established religion – he simply preaches, al fresco often (it avoids room hire and permissions). His teaching and his death and resurrection are revolutionary, in the literal sense of turning over, as he does to tables of those misusing money and places of worship. He breaks the Sabbath to heal. He talks to a Samaritan woman. He puts spit in a blind man’s eyes. He assumes temple authority. Jesus’ non conforming to the ‘go forth and multiply’ custom says that humans are not defined by procreation. I query that phrase as a mandate, but it is too controversial to properly take up here.

Sylvia’s argument that the wedding at Cana must be Jesus’ own initially has more credence. For how else could he be expected to worry about the shortage of wine and ask servants to do things? Why would his mother bring this concern to Jesus if he weren’t the groom?

In the previous chapter of John’s gospel (the only one to tell the story), Jesus is called Rabbi, before we have heard him speak or do anything. So he’s already been spoken to as teacher, and his so-called wedding is yet to happen. It is the next – ‘third’ – day that Jesus is ‘invited’ to the wedding, with his mother and disciples, implying them as equal guests. When his mother draws the wine shortage to Jesus’ attention, he says, ‘Dear woman, why do you involve me? My time is not yet come’.  Jesus sounds surprised, as if this wedding isn’t his concern. The servants obey Jesus because Mary asked them to – why is not explained. The bridegroom is mentioned, but not named, and so is the master of the banquet, to whom the transformed water is presented. I don’t think therefore that the case for this being Jesus’ wedding, with Mary M, who we’ve not met yet, is very compelling.

Many people are comforted that their Lord is single. We don’t have a physical description of him (Sylvia does, via her spirit guide, Francine!). He was Robert Powell-esque (star of the TV series Jesus of Nazareth) and Mary his mother curvy and dark (at least one of the three had the right ethnicity for a Jew). Magdalene was red haired! More Anne of Avonlea than Mary of Magdala! (Avonlea… that’s a whole other thought….) People have appropriated Jesus to their circumstances – a black Christ so African people feel closer to him, and of course European depictions have made Jesus brown or red haired and light eyed and skinned. It’s been suggested that Jesus might be gay with the disciple whom Jesus loved (and his mates Mary, Martha and Lazarus a ‘queer’ family). But we don’t know if Jesus was married. We don’t know his sexuality, if any. We don’t know if he had children. But it means that mystique allows us to feel close to him, whatever our skin colour or family situation.

It also suggests that if the usual gospels are right and Jesus was single and not a father, that those of us likewise without spouse or offspring can feel that the most special earth dweller is like us; and if he could be complete without parenthood and a partnering, that we can too.

There’s also a massive issue with the divine and their mortal creatures having an affair – it’s one of those off bounds parings like teacher/pupil, prison officers/inmate, and counsellors/clients and adults with minors. We’re not equal, there’s a power imbalance.

Unless you believe that Jesus isn’t divine or that we are. And many think that Mary Magdalene’s surname isn’t where she’s from but her title, like Mahatma Gandhi or Lord – she’s spiritually special. So maybe not such an odd coupling?

But then there’s the favouritism issue. I heard a snatch of a sermon that Jacob’s obvious preference for his technicoloured dreaming son was bad parenting. If Jesus behaved likewise, I can sympathise with the disciples who complained of Jesus’ constant petting and partiality, and can see why arguments arose after Jesus left them.

I’d like to think that the Son of Man, let alone God, had more maturity and sensitivity, and left a better example.


Sylvia’s arguments do not become more bolstered by evidence or reasoning. She often refers to scholars, but gives few names – save Karen L King and Elaine Pagels. She states her view of history as fact, supported by vague research – but this is a common complaint I have with nonfiction, and it is as much in John Shelby Spong or the tomes I’ve just read on exegesis and the Gospel canon as it is here.

There’s a later chapter which has little to do with the Marys and more about tolerant beliefs. I do support Sylvia here – for in her crude offhand way, she says – let love and acceptance be the heart of living and let us not judge, let alone persecute or silence those with other beliefs. She sees the canonising of the Bible as a deliberate attempt at political control and mind steering, leaving out the best and truest parts of the Bible and editing the four chosen gospels to focus on Peter as leader and downgrade both Marys, and the message of love.(The book I read on the canon argued against this, but my suspicions are at least open to Sylvia’s view).

Sylvia mentions The Da Vinci Code and its backlash with some admiration. Unsurprisingly, she references the Baigent, Leigh and Lincoln book, which her view agrees with to some extent – perhaps even inspired her (she does not credit it), and The Last Temptation of Christ. She calls this 1988 film “somewhat weird” and offers a warning to viewers. She seems unaware that Scorsese’s film is based on Nikos Kazantzaki’s  novel. And that the point is, that unlike her Jesus, coming down from the cross before living peacefully with his wife is a temptation to refuse. The film ends with Christ on the cross, choosing to continue his torment unto death to fulfil his mission. Hence this controversial story is more orthodox than Sylvia and books on the holy grail and bloodlines.

A brief word on that line: The offspring of Jesus would be demi gods – or would they be fully human and divine too? And why is a bloodline so vital? Sounds like the feudal notion of purity of blood, of position by family not merit, and permanent exclusion for those not in the clan. But the whole message of Jesus is: God is widening the net (was it ever really so narrow?). Not by birth and heritage, but by belief are you included in God’s kingdom. I wonder if the Age of Aquarius is about moving beyond a particular set of beliefs to be seen as inheritor of God’s relationship – and beyond legalistic words about ownership.

It was a relief to get to the end of The Two Marys, but there’s an odd appendix – the tenets of the Novus Spiritus (why the Latin?), Sylvia’s own church. Twenty two statements in semi religious language – a few thous chucked in, not of the Buber variety; anti war, pro defence; the rejection of book of Revelation. I cannot see the appendix’s relevance to the book’s subject, unless it is another juxtaposition to suggest she too is a messenger of a new spiritual movement for this newly dawning age. Is she letting a cat out of the bag?

Sylvia seems to regularly hint of her own specialness – she compares Magdalene’s loss of her husband and mentor to the loss of her psychic grandmother. In the first chapter called Powerful Women (note Sylvia’s gender) she says, I’m not putting myself near our Lord, but I know how busy travelling and teaching can be and how it feels to be crucified by the press.

Sylvia and I come from a different world view. Hers is that Jesus isn’t divine, that we are, and that Magdalene is a great teacher but not a goddess (unlike Lynn Picknett’s view) and that Mary the Mother isn’t the Lady of Heaven – that’s another deity we’ve confused.

Despite the book’s title and my original intent to write this about Magdalene day, Sylvia’s focus is less on either Mary and actually makes Magdalene less than many see her – this is really the Jesus story, bookended by a close maternal relationship. We don’t hear what Mary Magdalene preached or understood and she seems to have little to add of her own – it is propounding her husband’s ideas – not so empowering for women or Mary.

Sylvia’s shockingly unorthodox view of Christ isn’t compatible with her own world view. Gnostics have a more positive view of humans, yet Sylvia believes that humans are flawed and in need of enlightening; even if we don’t need traditional salvation, death does need overcoming, I think, and Sylvia’s Jesus doesn’t do that – his exit strategy is somewhat tepid compared with the rising and ascension of the gospels. And for Jesus to half die is worse – for it doesn’t signify or accomplish anything. Sylvia doesn’t ‘bother’ with much of the Bible, especially the first part, though she does imply she understands that Jesus preached a new understanding of God, but on whose previous heritage we do not need to dwell.

Her chief source of knowledge is Francine, who isn’t introduced as her guide is familiar to her readers in previous books. Francine seems slipped in at will and at difficult parts of Sylvia’s depiction as her incontrovertible proof. Sylvia seems to just know – which as a modern Gnostic (not one of those ancient dualists with all the rules), would be entirely consistent. I too believe in inner knowing over empiricism, but I also know I need to be able to present an argument too. Intellectually, she’s not convincing, and her writing style is often flavourless and flippant and not focussed. She spoils the ending of the Jesus and Marys story, so we know they all die in old age in Europe long before she reaches that part of her book. I cannot resist another reference to that careless phrase of hers – that she lets the cat out of the bag too early. So I have issues with her theology but also her writing style and revelation – I’ve got you Sylvia, and for me, I’m not feeling enlightened or like following.

It has given me ideas to follow – my disappointment with Jesus and the royal line of David, and to re-read the gospels – how special are Jesus’ teachings and is he portrayed as God? And what of my original Mary Magdalene quest?

These are all likely to appear on my blog another time.

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Ilia Delio, your God is too small

A Review of “The Emergent Christ”

I was excited about obtaining this book, sorry to have missed her UK tour last year, but swiftly found it hard work. Not that I didn’t understand it, but its matter is as dense as the early Big Bang, and that’s not in a good way.

It could easily be a paper, not a full length book. I obtained two things from Ilia’s 150 pages of main text:

“Evolution is progress towards union in love because God is ever deepening love.” (minus the irritating and unneeded hyphen between the penultimate words)

That is sufficient synopsis of the whole book. She need not write more!

The second was her summary of Hildegard of Bingen who saw sin as the exile of unrelatedness, the refusal to grow.

My major issue with Ilia is that she is another theologian trying to fit God round contemporary science, which is entirely the wrong way round. She asserts that scientists know that evolution is true, not a theory – something that my reading and understanding has always queried, on a scientific and philosophical level. (I wrote an undergraduate dissertation on this subject).

She doesn’t engage with the theological issues about evolution either – a loving powerful God who uses waste and suffering, and is so slow! She suggests God could have achieved salvation in another way (not Easter) – which is surely more shocking – because God can do anything. But He can’t manage creation in any other way than Darwin’s, even though she’s the one to remind that Darwin only used evolution in the last line of his work. Nor does she justify the Big Bang, built on extrapolation and highly interpreted observations.

Instead, she uses dense stylised language with many invented and italicised words to whizz round such questions like spiral galaxies, oscillating so quickly that you’ve barely time to notice what she’s not said. Try paraphrasing her, and I realised how little real substance there is in my view. Dense, but not weighty.

It’s assumed but not truly argued or demonstrated that for God to be love – and she does have some beautiful and original phrases about that – God must evolve, and do so in a way analogous to the universe’s journey as understood by our relatively young scientific theory.

Most of her work is about Pierre Teilhard de Chardin’s ideas, and quoting many Catholics and scientists along the way, I felt there was little really coming from Ilia as original thought.

That point contains another issue I have – for despite ‘catholic’ supposedly meaning universal, this is a very Catholic book. If you weren’t reared on Bonaventure or what the popes are saying, you can feel alienated. Ilia often asks what it is to be Catholic, not to be Christian, and not to have faith or spirituality more generally. Given her scientific stance, her hints that Christ is the telos of enlightenment rather than just the 2nd person of the Trinity, and her writing style, this book doesn’t feel likely to have a wide audience.

Ilia wants to re-translate catholic (more italics coming up) to whole-making which is a beautiful idea. The notion of God too growing and expanding is not new to me, and it is one I already embraced. I am glad that she accepts death and suffering as part of the process of our own parallel journeys, not something to eradicate via the science she so venerates.

But again, death as an act of creation – not a phrase she uses – is something I long knew: I found it in the film The Fountain, and watching it and thinking on its deep and similar themes was a more pleasing experience that these hours with Delio.

Heaven as a place on early was proclaimed by Belinda Carlisle in the 1980s, and the Kingdom being within is pretty obvious in the gospels. Is Ilia hinting she thinks that there is no next world?

I found myself instead wanting to explore Ms Bingen and even to have a go at Teilhard again, whose shockingly innovative insights were more pertinent when he wrote perhaps, but I felt this rehash has little to add to these times.

Ilia goes a step further than saying evolution and Christianity are compatible; she says – evolution is theology. Radical, intriguing, but appealing or true? I sense she’s touching on something there: that if we think of growth and deeper understanding as part of life and of God, then the way we understand the world scientifically does change and become more meaningful. But I refuse to make God fit science, saying, as we’re evolving we must know better now than all that came before. There’s both arrogance and naivety in this statement (if I’ve understood correctly). I know development to be spiral, twisting back and round and revisiting, not simply forward.

I am never tired of saying that my understanding of Hegel’s thesis, antithesis, synthesis is masterful on a personal and mass level. Ilia’s work seems stuck in the second stage, exonerating new science; but for me, obtaining wholeness and mastery (which I do not claim yet to have) is only achieved when we embrace and synthesise the wisdom of ancient beliefs and see that modern science is only a small part of actual knowing.

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Healing With The Masters Season 15

Jennifer McLean has been bringing internationally known speakers and healers to the public for free by online seminar for at least 6 years. I’ve been part of her community for many of these. The latest series has just wrapped in May 2015.

Firstly – what I like about Jennifer. She laughs – which makes me laugh too. She is enthusiastic and excited. “It’s freakin’ off the charts” she often exclaims about the energy on a call. She feels an authentic host: choking up when talking about loved ones dying, being honest when something angers her, and endearing when she says she has to work to love her ‘crazy’ self. Jennifer feels a rounded human, who even though she sounds financially successful and well known (but has been poor too), still has life challenges and doesn’t try to hide it. She never tells us about her home situation, which I like, as it can be distracting to know if a speaker/healer has a family. If their circs are different to yours, you can feel alienated. The mystique allows us to focus on what matters.

I think she is a good host, warmly engaging, asking good questions of her guests, putting speaker’s insights in her own succinct words. Often, listeners have a chance to call in live. Jennifer handled one really well: when a speaker had missed that a caller had just shared about having a crisis, Jennifer gently drew this to the guest’s attention. She is also good at listening to what people on the call feel. When a guest stated what exciting times we live in and what a wonderful opportunity life is, Jennifer said: But lots of people don’t see their lives like that; their souls are exclaiming “This is the last freakin’ time! I’m never coming back here [to earth for another reincarnation if this is how awful life is]”.

Wanting to be healed on some level is mostly the point of listening in – it’s healing with the masters, not sorted with the masters. We’re seekers, yet to arrive. I love how at the start of each call, Jennifer reminds that we’re all masters on the show – not just the guests speakers – and so, by extension, we can learn from each other.

I’m not going to go through all the speakers; and if I have any criticism, I will not name that speaker. This is all meant to be in a good spirit.

The speakers are often North American but their world view is universal, so their nationality isn’t alienating, should you be outside of it (unlike a book I’m currently reading). They’re spiritually inspired with a scientific and/or business slant. Their beliefs are under the new age/spirituality banner, which means they are pretty similar, despite not coming under a creed. Many of them believe in the law of attraction, in chakras and energy fields, and often in reincarnation. Their words for God are inclusive, and may be something like Source or The Universe rather than invoking a particular Name – or they’ll invoke several. The show is usually about personal awakening, in the assumption that opening ourselves helps open the planet. The tumult of the earth is often spoke of, but I’ve heard no campaigning on social or personal justice  – in fact, I’ve often heard speakers say let to those things go, with which I disagree.

Sometimes I observe that people have more power than wisdom and sensitivity – and not just the speakers on this call. I’ve seen it in charismatic healing meetings as much as new age healers who have a huge rush of energy at their disposal, and possibly, the ability to visit other dimensions and to gather information about caller’s energies and pasts very quickly. But how they use that power is not always tempered with the compassion and listening skills and thought for the other persons that it might be.

There was a man who has huge energy and obvious power who speaks very fast. I sympathise with that, but when he did an energy clearing process, it was as restful as a racing commentary. I really wish he’d slowed to lead us through that process. The show was quite hard to listen to – it was exhausting!

Some of my querying comes from the way that call ins are handled. It’s hard for guests to have to say or do the right thing for live callers in just a few minutes. I think it’s actually not a wise thing to offer. Many practitioners in a variety of fields have a long first appointment and work with someone over time before offering pronouncements and treatments. I wonder if there’s a rush to say something wise and quickly, knowing you are live, knowing your time is short, feeling you must deliver as the supposed healing master. Sometimes, callers are talked over and shut down. The guest “masters” don’t always express the compassion for the horrid life events that callers talk about – many call in not with a question, but a request for an urgent life line. I think some showing caring for their situation and its pain before trying to offer a solution would be better; and greater sensitivity about asking personal questions – and expecting a response – on air.

There was a caller named Elizabeth who I felt for. I think the guest speaker (shares name with Genghis, Sheer and Chaka) misheard which chakra she said was blocked and worked on the wrong one. He didn’t handle it well when she said, I’m doing all you say, and I’m still not getting what I need. Every time she came back and said ‘but I am and it’s not happening’, I felt a YES… so many of us must feel this sometimes. And like a doctor enthralled with their favourite prescription, the healer won’t take responsibility for the fact that for this person, what they offer isn’t working. And that they need to try something else. He said, “From the energy in your voice…” I could hear something in his, not all in keeping with his claim of being an empathic loving healer. He kept insisting in effect that he was right, and she wasn’t. Then this lady was kind of talked over and her call wound up. I felt there was pressure for her to accept what was offered, to show gratitude and evidence of healing, and to get off the air for the next person. I sensed she hadn’t left the call with what she came on for, and I was dissatisfied as a listener.

I also queried this speaker’s statement that sounded like he was saying, ‘people who see problems with the world have a lesser spiritual understanding and practice’. Our world is riddled with social justice issues. There are so many people working for a better world in ways which involve the direct and practical challenges, many of whom also have spiritual insight and wisdom – often it is what fires them to work in that way. We need balance between different approaches, and respect for them. Understanding that the world is in energetic flux doesn’t negate the hardships and challenges in it.

I found Sonia Choquette heartening, who’s had huge life challenges since she became known as a spiritual  teacher, and shared her journey since that time on her call. But on Hay House summit a couple of weeks later, she expanded her tale of how she felt led to go on the Camino way pilgrimage across Europe. And she added how she felt that a couple who discussed politics were entirely inappropriate, and angels of darkness. I didn’t understand why she saw this couple that way. One of my frustrations is that these speakers do not engage with political systems. Like Quakers, I believe there is no division between spiritual and political, and I do not see one as sacred and one as profane. I love that this couple later rescued Sonia!

My favourite speaker is Jo Dunning who did 5 shows in a working week – two live, three reruns. I could do a post on Jo all on her own. Jo is restful to listen to. There is a gentleness about Jo, and a deep wisdom, and a multi dimension over arcing view of our lives and the planet. However, I do have a couple of queries. One is that like so many, she believes our issues boil down to childhood traumas. But I feel our core wounds can be at any age and over issues we don’t have in our early life. We’re not mad at someone’s contemporary rudeness because it links to our poopy pants aged 2, as Jo said. She’s also got an evolutionary perspective, which may be common, but is not my world view.

Some of Jo’s products might sound ridiculous: pocket angels, Chakra cups, a $200 healing torch, even a silent CD – all with energy infused. But I’ve been around Jo long enough to know that what would be crazy and cloying in other hands is profound in hers. Jo brings energy to every call and does live processes, including with those who call in. She handled these very well. It might feel like a con when others message the show that they’re reacting to all these energies – and some people (like me) sit there and think – I’m not feeling anything. The reply might also feel like a con to the cynic – or the disappointed: it’s that we’re deep onions and that like ultraviolet light, many of the layers being addressed are not perceptible ones. There is much in her talks, I will not attempt a synopsis to her thought, though I did find it becoming quite similar. I wish transcripts were available – I did try to take notes – because often there’ s too much to take in and notetaking means some of my concentration and enjoyment is lost.

One other thought is that the timing of the live shows means that those of us not in the US would struggle to listen live and therefore not get to “play” with the speakers  and call in. I was sorry that Jennifer didn’t do a show on her own, as I like her healing singing and body dialoguing  – but she is on the forthcoming Hay House series.

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US Things To Give Thanks For

I’m not American, but I wanted to use today as an excuse to reflect on all the things I do like about America. So here’s my favourite exports:

Wonder Woman

Clearly a much delayed role model, I talk about her on here. My favourite superhero, making hawks doves, though a little underdressed for this time of year

Sesame Street

The subversive kid’s show I didn’t appreciate till I had come of age. Witty, surreal, clever and hilarious. Milllllk!

Neale Donald Walsch

I have to acknowledge his place on my spiritual journey, turning the boat from the Mayflower to…this is where my boat knowledge lets down the metaphor… Magical Mystery Tour? Rainbow Warrior?… not quite either of those… but a ship willing to include a new path and wider crew, and some radical thoughts about the captain

Jo Dunning

My favourite spiritual speaker and healer right now. I love to tune into her monthly Quick Pulse seminar, even though it involves staying up til 2am due to time differences. Jo’s voice is calm and truthful and I’ve been very impressed with her – I’d not normally believe some of the things she offers, but something in my gut says I can trust her

Elaine Aron

Elaine represents a whole load of things that would only come out of America, but the rest of the world needs. Normally I would resist such a statement, but I’m only doing grateful today. I’m glad that America has identified things that some other cultures would never name or explore and champion. Elaine has a trait she has called Highly Sensitive Person, which she sees as neutral-positive that explains why some people can be overwhelmed. There are many things implicit in this about growth and acceptance that I think some of American culture can be good at encouraging and addressing.

The Constitution

Sadly not what it’s living by, but a beautiful and inspiring piece to nations everywhere – and I like being built, like Camelot (as per recent post) on an idea

Sasha Cagen

She who founded the Quirkyalone movement whose blog posts are wise and inspiring, celebratory of full personhood, of sensuality, of singleness, and seeking the very best of relationships

My US friends

My life has been touched by various Americans, I have some in particular in mind at present. They’ll get personal messages.


I shall eat sweet potatoes tonight in your honor with and without a U!

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Icke and Enigma – the hidden world exposed

What can an ex sports personality gone turquoise new age conspiracy theorist have to do with a wartime codebreaking drama?

I’m always pleased and surprised by the links between seeming unrelated things that I pick up at once. Enigma was a little gift to self to complete my Kate Winslet set, where I finally got a DVD with extras on it, which I had to import. David Icke was a book I found in the spirituality section of a shop that kind of waved and say, sit down with me a moment. You might be surprised.

Sometimes David’s tone doesn’t help his incredulous sounding messages – I’ve yet to understand how the Reptile Alien Dynasty fits in. I’d put David’s rants (may we be on first name terms?) in the same stylistic category as Michael Moore’s, or George Galloway. Whether I can also call David well meaning and genuine despite his faults, I am not yet sure.

How do you tell a real spiritual leader? By the one that opens you out to expand, to think for yourself, to not be persuaded to follow them with consequences if you refuse, who wants make a better, more equal world. And who is ultimately about love. At first, David seems to fit this… but there may be another post on this and I may change my mind (I already have since first posting this).

David says he is telling us about what’s really controlling us, what we’re not meant to know and why it suits certain people to not have it known.

And Enigma, based on the Robert Harris novel, is about secrets of the establishment that were hidden from even spouses who worked together on it. I’ve made reference to his novel before on here but I shall concentrate more on the 2001 film this time. I’m intrigued and angered by wartime propaganda and how this film and its extras propound it. The US trailer’s voiceover speaks of Britain as “our greatest allies”. Characters are often spoken of as war heroes, and there’s mention of success and winning the war (can there be winners in war, truly?). Some of the anecdotes about real life codebreakers were also daunting and weren’t questioned by cast or crew. The lady who helped Kate Winslet for her role as Hester told her that after a 12 hr night shift, she was made to stand on a train to give way to a woman in army uniform. A rude fellow passenger had demanded that this plainclothes lady, who was doing nothing for the war effort, be deferent to this brave serving hero. And because her work was secret, the codebreaking lady felt she had to obey.

I’ve shared my displeasure before at the crossword competition that was as trick to forcibly recruit for codebreaking and to make people like Hester sign at gunpoint for something they didn’t understand. Why would you want to carry the secret of what you did in the war for 30 years, even from your partner, as so many at Bletchley did till it was no longer an official secret? Why couldn’t you tell people even which hut you worked in on the same site? I’m upset at a system that would attack its own in the name of a cause which may not be what it seems. It concerns me that the history we’re presented with may not be the whole one, as Icke and others speak of the Middle Eastern wars of today as being about something other than what our governments and some newspapers would have us believe. And there’s the No Glory In War campaign about World War one, asking us all to look at the real reasons for that war and not to celebrate it at its centenary as something to support current conflict.

Michael Apted in his director’s commentary on his film says that Bletchley Park in Buckinghamshire was the start of computers and the surveillance state. The film was released in Britain shortly after the twin towers, when security rules were stepped up and civil rights corroded with new laws. Now we’re seeing the reverse beginning, I hope, with new laws coming in which tighten the secret service’s rei(g)n, and with exposure of the secret snooping. Icke is credited with predicting the Twin Towers in 2001; he claims the webs beneath us are rather Matrix like and that who’s spinning them are linked and invisible people who are a layer below the public and official faces supposedly responsible. Money and power are big factors, and the few are trying to control the many through peer pressure – just like the wartime lady on the train. In Enigma, Hester and Tom don’t let secret service threats stop them discovering that the Katyn atrocity was known by the British government and ignored because they wanted Russian support against Germany. And the film tells us that Russian politicians apologised, but never that British ones did, and the final cut removes the scene of a newspaper with Katyn on the cover.

I’ll keep my review on the actual film Enigma for Amazon, but wanted to share this link of propaganda and secrecy, bullying one’s own to keep them conforming, and that I hope we’re seeing full circle, and that divide and conquer secrecy and ideology is being eroded like English cliffs and we’re seeing the truth – and that often takes more courage than those on the battlefield.



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